The eyes of a failed rapist

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This week we were privileged to be joined by the frightfully elite, all titanium equipped crew of Neal, Geschäftsführer of the legendary Velo Adventure Company, Martin and Rupert, an ex-Parachute Regiment officer who is built exactly like a monkey.

The three of them joined Graham, Harley and I in Aldworth at 06:00 for the start of our planned 120 mile trip. As we rode into a cold, clear Berkshire dawn, Rupert told me that he’d been in the Army with my cousin Peter who he recalled, was once accused of having “The eyes of a failed rapist” by their Colour Sergeant during an inspection at Sandhurst. Charitably, Rupert thought this was probably a little unfair although I must admit there is a tale that my Great Grandfather Dr. Thomas Bodley-Scott was a man of such questionable character that his friend Robert Louis Stevenson, used my forebear as the basis for the infamous character of Dr. Jekyll of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde fame. Don’t they say characteristics sometimes skip generations? Sorry Pete!

Anyway back to the matter in hand. Apart from the excellent company, one of the main reasons these rides are so enjoyable is Graham’s route planning. His routes are always woven out of his encyclopaedic knowledge of the British countryside and this morning’s course to the gentile spa town of Cheltenham was no exception. We took the country lanes through Compton, Famborough to Wantage then onto Lechlade, Chedworth (where Graham once lost an important game of Tennis) and onto Cheltenham.

One of the usual features of our trips to Cheltenham is Jeremy’s annual pilgrimage to the small characterless bungalow where he was born and brought up typically followed by Chris’ tirade on how this upbringing must account for the arm chair socialist tendencies he sees so much evidence of today. Thankfully neither of them could make it this time so we were spared this detour and headed directly for breakfast at a nameless cafe in Cheltenham High Street where certain physical characteristics of the waitresses made happy men feel old, a great improvement on the previous week by the way.

I didn’t mention that the Elite Titanium Crew are in training for some 24 hour London to Paris event and consequently are rather fitter and more disciplined than we. So under their influence, the return journey saw a well drilled peloton carving its way through the countryside to Cirencester, Highworth, Great Shefford and home. The whole 127 mile circuit was completed at an average of 16.3 mph and according to Harley’s computer with 7,000 feet of climbing and some 5000 calories burned.